Ramblings of a Creative Mind

Thoughts on Work and the World from an Executive Mom

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A Birthday Card to Mom

MomToday is my Mom’s birthday.  I’m on the road right now, so I sent flowers and called, but I still did not feel like I did enough.  And as I sat here in the hotel tonight, I started to think about how I viewed my Mom way back when and how I see her today.

Way back when – aka in my foolish teenage years – I loved my Mom and was absolutely certain that I was smarter than she was and knew more than she did.  Kind of a given for a teenager.  I thought Mom was beautiful.  Picture Mia Farrow, and you’re seeing my Mom.  She has always been one of a kind too: a little kooky.  Our house was filled with strays of the canine and human persuasion.  Mom couldn’t sing, but she sure did blast those Broadway records at full tilt boogie.  And with as many siblings as I’ve got, our house was raucous to say the least – balancing right on the edge of joy and madness.  I remember Mom standing in the middle of it all, always full of folksy sayings: trying to teach us – sometimes hollering over us – the things we may need to know as we grew.  We colored on the walls, ate dessert for breakfast and generally figured we ignored her advice.  And now I am grown with a family of my own.  I see my Mother when I look in the mirror.  I hear her voice come out of my mouth.  And I’ve realized how much she taught me when I didn’t think I was learning.  To celebrate her today, here are a few of my favorite Mom moments.

1.   Were you born in a barn?  (Also, known at dinnertime by the variant “Close your mouth. You look like a cow chewing its cud.”)  My Mom was raised on a farm, so we got a lot of country references when Mom talked about manners.  Manners were big for her.  She taught us to say please and thank you, of course.  And she also taught us that the world may judge you by your manners as well.  Being polite and considerate, thanking people, being gracious – they are points of entry into business today, and while they may not be directly acknowledged, they are noticed and appreciated.

2.   Just put ice cream on your cereal instead.  OK, so Mom usually resorted to this when we ran out of milk, but to a kid, ice cream on cereal is paradise so we were happy.  We ate ice cream for breakfast more than once.  Mom was resourceful.  Mom was creative.  She encouraged that in us kids too.  When she ran into a challenge, she found a solution, turned a tough time into something fun and moved right along.  Times will be tough for all of us at one point or another.  What matters is how we respond to problems and find creative answers.

3.   Time to get dewormed.  Now, that sounds icky, especially when you know that no one in the family (canine or human) ever actually needed to get dewormed.   But Mom was all about preventative measures.  Sometimes, even if everything seems fine, it’s still worth digging a little deeper to make sure things really are as good as they seem.  They well may be.  Or, you could find something that needs tending to.

4.   Don’t forget where you came from.  Mom has regaled me with stories of how my ancestors fought in the American Revolution and others worked on the Underground Railroad; how Dad ran secrets for the Filipino Guerrillas and Resistance forces during the Japanese occupation in WWII; how my Aunties had the most beautiful hands and made the best longanisa (which is very, very true).  In fact, I’m still hearing new stories today.  Mom taught me to be proud of my heritage – that my ancestors stood up for what they believed in and I should too.  She taught me that I am part of something so much more than just “me” and that Family, both gone and yet to come, is your true legacy.

5.   Patience is a virtue.  In this world of instant gratification, it’s easy to forget that some things are worth the wait.  This is a hard one for me, but it is true.  I found my career late, my husband late… found myself late.  They were worth the wait.  Today, I find that I say this same thing often to my children and to myself.  Day to day goals and pressures can make you crazy.  Set a long term goal.  Know what you stand for.  Then slow down, enjoy the ride and keep your eye on the finish line.  It’s a good one, after all.  Now, Mom: I know you are probably mortified that I wrote this tonight (especially # 3), and I hope you know I wrote this with love.  I treasure you.  I treasure what you taught me. You are more beautiful today than you were all those years ago, and I am so darn grateful for you and all that I’ve learned.  I succeed at business and life because of the sturdy foundation you and Dad built.

Happy Birthday, Mom.


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Building Your House, One Brick at a Time

Every parent knows the story of the Three Little Pigs and the Big Bad Wolf, and has probably recited it hundreds of times.  Three brothers go out into the world, build their homes and get ready for the future.  Then, the Big Bad Wolf comes a knockin’, and you know what happens.  Homes of straw and sticks crumble, but the brother who really prepared – built a sturdy foundation – was able to withstand the storm and triumph.

Fairy tales are often built on common truths, and this tale is no exception.  Looking beyond the rhythm and rhyme, it’s a story about business and life: don’t take short cuts, be disciplined, and build a strong foundation of processes and knowledge as the unexpected will happen sooner or later.  When the Big Bad Wolf or another competitor comes knockin’, will your business stand strong or buckle under the storm?

So, I’m in the automotive industry, which is booming now.  Many industries are doing well.  But sooner or later, a storm will come and you need to be prepared.  One of the most basic bricks we can use to build our professional houses is building out your business and referral network.  Now, us marketing folk frequently talk about the importance of networking and the “how to” of it.  But marketing really is just about being human.  Human beings have a basic need to connect emotionally through relationships, and relationships can only be cultivated over time. You can’t build a relationship if you are sporadic in your marketing or networking, if you only “fit it in” when your phone isn’t ringing.  Building a relationship requires time and investment, perhaps a change in your thinking and actually doing things for others so they in turn will do things for you.  Ultimately, you are building your brand as you market.  In our business, to be successful, you should always be marketing – always be on.  You never know when you will meet someone special who just may change your life.  Marketing can happen every day via the phone, email, a blog and more.  Here are a few suggestions to help you expand your business network, and ultimately gain more trust and more referrals.

1. Get to know your industry well and share information.  Have you read a useful article or tidbit lately?  Share it.  If you want to succeed, become both a humble student and also an expert.  Constantly seek knowledge and spread it.

2. Send a thank you card or small token of appreciation that shows thought. I’m a big believer in handwritten notes.  E-mails are fine, but personal card takes care and time.  Even if you have said “thanks” in the past, don’t be afraid to say it again.  We have a saying in our family: “Practice an attitude of gratitude.”  I’m sure you have something similar at home too.  If you preach it at home, you certainly can put it into practice at work too.  The currency of business relationships is in the relationship itself. Build it with authentic care.

3. Take advantage of the opportunity to network inside and outside of your industry.  I was fortunate to attend a major auto industry event this week and rub shoulders with thought leaders from my industry, Google, Facebook and more.  That opportunity was a result of a long term relationship, and I am immensely grateful.  And earlier this year, I networked with CMOs from other verticals – Mattel, Disney and more.  It’s always an investment of time, and sometimes of your pocketbook, but the investment pays dividends.

4. Always carry cards.  Having your business card with you at all times is a given.  But how about carrying a few cards from those business contacts that you trust from another industry?  It’s an opportunity to help those who help you on a day to day basis.

5.  Follow up immediately on every referral.  I can’t stress it enough.

6. Volunteer your time and industry expertise for a project outside the scope of your normal business.  Get out there, get uncomfortable and get it done.

7.  Ask for referrals and cross-sell.  There is always more business than you are getting, and more referrals than you are receiving.  Make sure you share your story and successes with your partners, and ask for the opportunity to do more.

8.  Reach out to dormant accounts.  I’m going to wager that every one of you has at least one – if not more – “dormant” accounts. There may be reasons you’re not getting that referral, but you’ll never know unless you make that call.  You may need to apologize for not keeping in touch, but the relationship may well be redeemable and may have been “lost” purely because someone (or you) forgot to ring them.

Building a strong foundation in the good times will protect you if and when the Big Bad Wolf knocks on your door.  Get started today.


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Staring Down Dragons

Reggio_calabria_museo_nazionale_mosaico_da_kaulonTomorrow is a big day for work.  We are sponsoring a large event, and I am representing my Company there.  It’s a newer territory for me, and there will be a lot of people I don’t know at the event.  Normally, I’m not one to stress in new situations.  In fact, I often speak publicly for work.  Yet, as I packed my bags tonight, I found myself worrying over things that I really never worry about: what dress should I wear?  Will the competitor onsite talk negatively about my Company or me?  What will I say?  Even now, over an hour after I have finished packing, my stomach is in knots, and I don’t want to get on the plane in the morning.

So what am I going to do?  Get on that darn plane, of course.  Wear my red “look at me” dress – secretly, it’s like armor to a knight – and go out there and face my fear.

Sooner or later, we all find ourselves in situations that make us uncomfortable – or downright freaked out, insecure and scared – at work or in life.  We feel “out of our league, out of our element” or maybe just “out to pasture.”  We tell ourselves that we aren’t good enough.  The competition is too fierce, knows more than we do or just may eat us alive.  Our skills “aren’t enough.”  We feel like a fraud.  Stewing alone in our insecurity, we imagine all the bad things that are going to happen and ultimately cause them to become so.  Our fear is a dragon, bellowing the fire of failure.

No one ever promised that things would be easy.  Many of the most successful people in work and life have faced significant hurdles to get where they are today.  It doesn’t matter what your dragon is: financial, the competition, doubt or inexperience.

What matters is how hard you are going to fight to defeat it.  The only way to advance in your career is to know what you are fighting for and how badly you want it.  Facing those fears is going to be hard – that’s a given.  It may even feel like it’s going to kill you.

It’s easy to be brave in the good times.  To measure who you really are, see how brave you can be in the bad times.  See how willing you are to fight for a good cause and for the people who are depending on you.

For the record, my stomach is still a wreck, and though I can’t figure out what I’m really afraid of, I just know that I am.  I also know that, tomorrow night, I am going to rock that red dress, represent my Company and my Team well, and slay whatever dragon is plaguing me tonight.  Once I do, I will know more about myself and be a better leader and mentor for the people that I am honored to serve each and every day.


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The Looking Glass

Feelin' groovy

Feelin’ groovy

“Can’t you see?  Life’s easy if you consider things from another point of view?” – DB Boulevard

Have you ever had your aura read?

Up until earlier this week, my answer would have been “no”, but Conventions in the auto industry are anything but conventional.  At one I recently attended, they hosted a lifestyle pavilion where, on your break, you could have your aura read and photographed.  I’m always up for new adventures, so although I was a bit skeptical, I decided to try it.

It was fascinating.  A rainbow of colors swirls around you in a computer “looking glass” and is photographed.  Then a specialist translates what those colors mean: who you are and what you need across various different categories…. heart, communication, thought processes and more.

Now, I’m not sure if I believe or not in the aura and the reading itself, but what I DO know, is that I opened my mind to not only what I may be projecting, but also to another point of view.  It helped me view the world from a different perspective.

We all have lives outside of the office.  Traffic may be bad on the way in.  Sales can be tough.  You may be overwhelmed because it feels like you have too many people to call back, too many “looky-loos”, too many meetings, accounts to market to or emails to respond to.  So you may try to weed out the ones who are only shopping you and focus on those members or accounts that you know will buy.  You may pay more attention to people or clients that have sent referrals, but you don’t market your other accounts as regularly.  You may delete e-mails without reading them, or maybe pay less attention to something as you feel it doesn’t apply to you or maybe has no effect for you and your life.

 But have you put yourself in the other person’s shoes?

So, you’re stressed out on the way in, and someone sits down at your desk.  Do they know you are stressed out?  They shouldn’t.  Do you stand up, walk around your desk, shake their hand and pull out the chair for them?  You should.  People pick up on positive energy (and negative too).  Every person you work with – regardless of what industry you are in – should walk away from your desk feeling as if they are the most important person in the world to you.  After all, by the time they actually do come in for an appointment or call you, they want to buy from you.  Whether they’re someone who needs the car (or whatever widget or service you offer) tomorrow, or maybe something tough like a $10,000 Camry – the member wants your service.  How are you responding?  How quickly do you follow up?  Even that $10,000 Camry is a major purchase for most people.  If you were on the edge of your seat, excited about your next car and someone did not call you back for a few days even just to check in, would you still feel important?

That referral opportunity for you is expensive, both financially and from a time perspective.  It’s also expensive when you think about your reputation.  The member who buys from you and believes in you helps generate interest income for you, your company and your partners.  It helps keep companies open, people employed, amazing products and services offered to other consumers and more.  That referral means not only potential for you and your family, but for every employee at your Company and their families.  Are you treating each referral with the importance that it deserves?  Are you visiting your clients on the B2B side?  You mean business for them.  You can help them.  If you don’t follow up with them to thank them for their referral, they sit out there wondering – and trust diminishes.  If you skip marketing for a week, it diminishes their relationship with you… and ultimately their referrals.

The most successful service and sales people know this intuitively.  They follow up consistently and with a process.  They do not skip marketing visits or networking opportunities, and they respond quickly and graciously to every referral because they know that referral is a critical piece of a much larger picture.  Every referral and success leads to better profitability, a better reputation and a new opportunity, driving more referrals back to YOU.  And that beautiful cycle keeps on going.

You have a bright future if we all remember we’re connected, and our actions and attitude have a meaningful impact on everyone else.  We may not always see it, but it’s always there.

Aristotle said “The whole is greater than the sum of its parts.”

I believe it.  Together, we can make it true.

For more fun DB Boulevard music, check them and that tune out at: http://www.dbboulevard.it/.  Jam on!


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What Role Will You Play Today?

Cruising down the sidewalk

Cruising down the sidewalk

So this year, we bought our two boys matching bicycles which have been sitting in the garage, gathering dust, until this past Sunday when we took them to a local park to ride those beautiful new bikes for the first time.  They had their helmets on and their “happy’ cranked up to 11, so we were ready for a fun family day.

Of course, kids will do what kids will do, so once we got to the park, all bets were off.  Our 5 year old (Jake) loved it, but our 3 year old, Luke, wanted nothing to do with his bike.  So we took off his helmet, hauled the bike (now a ball and chain) behind us and started to enjoy a leisurely stroll instead.  A half hour in, Jake took a spill, so we stopped to tend his boo-boo. That’s when we met the Lady in Pink.  As we turned to scoop up Jake, I heard a very loud “Watch out!  Out of my way!  Coming through!”  I turned to see the Lady in Pink come careening through on her expensive bicycle at who knows how many miles per hour, narrowly missing my 3 year old.  In fact, she cut right in front of him – so close that the curl on the front of his forehead was ruffled as she zoomed past him and sped away.

My husband and I were in shock at first.  We scooped Luke up, made sure he was okay and got our little family on the move again.  And as the next few minutes passed by, I got mad.  Very, very mad.  The Lady in Pink is not a friend of mine.  Completely self-absorbed in her own actions, she sped unheeded on her way, absolutely oblivious to the fact that she just about caused an extremely serious injury (if not something much worse) to the innocent child in her way. The Lady in Pink could have slowed down. She could have stopped.  She could have changed lanes.  She could have done any number of things which would have been much more appropriate – and much more considerate – of the people around her.

Me?  I was hopping mad.  There aren’t words to describe how I felt.  As a parent, I instantly saw all of the possible outcomes – gravitating to the worst case scenario.  I immediately passed judgment on the woman.  She was massively irresponsible, and if I saw her again, I was going to give her a piece of my mind.  I even considered driving around the park to find her and tell her exactly what I thought of her and her bike.  We didn’t do that though.  We headed back to our car.  And as I packed up my kids for the short ride home, I started to think about the roles we’d just played – the Lady in Pink and me.

In business and in life, we all play the Lady in Pink at times.  Our society is changing rapidly, and as consumer behavior continues to evolve and companies see their margins eroding or business models at risk, we as leaders have to make decisions under pressure.  We may make fast decisions, ones with long term consequences that can affect the lives of our people.  There is nothing wrong with making a quick decision if needed, as long as we are aware of our surroundings and can take stock of the other options available to us – that we have an understanding of what the long term effects of a short term decision may be.  Even in the toughest times in business, there are always options if we look for them.  And there will always be those who stand on the side, perhaps unaware at first of the change that is whizzing their way.  When change is inevitable, we can choose to participate in the action, prepare in advance or stand on the side, watching it play out and judging others who do take action – whether that action is right or wrong.

I learned something on Sunday.  I was so focused on a singular event, that I missed the danger heading our way from the other side.  I am going to be more alert the next time we are on that bike path.  And, I am also going to stand up and speak my mind if I do run into a Lady in Pink again.  Next time, I am taking action.  I’m going to be part of the change I want to see on the bike path and in the world. And maybe, I can help the Lady in Pink slow down just a little bit, enjoy the view and understand that her actions have consequences, have meaning in the lives of those around her.  I hope I can help her begin to see.


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The Pebble in the Pond

2013 Groundbreaking Kids Only

So yesterday, I was at a groundbreaking event for a charity that my company supports.  It’s a fantastic program bringing seniors in need of care together with young children who lift their morale and, in turn, teach the children empathy and kindness.   This is one of my favorite parts of my job.  There were tons of people there: sponsors, dignitaries, parents, seniors and much to my surprise, an old acquaintance of mine.Ann came bouncing up to me with a wide smile on her face and gave me a huge hug.  I was happy to see her again.  She worked for my company six or seven years ago, although only for a few months.  I remember her as bright and talented; we’d missed her when she left.  It turns out that Ann works in community relations for the charity we’d supported; what a small world this is.

After the pictures were taken and the shovels did their work, Ann made her way back over to me to tell me a “funny story” that she just had to share.  Two days before our meeting, Ann was presenting in front of a group of local business leaders hoping to generate financial support for another arm of the charity, helping at-risk teens.  During the event, Ann mentioned that she used to work for my company.  One of the gentlemen there asked Ann if she knew me.  Of course she did, said Ann.  She told him that I had been her trainer way back when – that I’d taught her how to speak in public.Now, this was news to me.  Way back when, I was an Account Executive and Ann was a new hire.  As I recall it, Ann and I didn’t have much interaction at all, although we did spend two days together out marketing – training some branches and meeting some people.  It was part of a normal routine to me, yet to Ann it was a lot more.

Ann continued her story.  She is extremely happy today, living out a dream of helping make the world a better place.  She told me that she never imagined she would be able to serve her community as she does today… never thought that she could be the face of an amazing charity, and that she learned how to do it from me.  Ann thanked me for making a difference in her life, one that makes a major difference in the lives of thousands who so desperately need help.

Yesterday was a humbling morning.  I am no public speaking guru.  I love my job here in the auto industry, but have often wondered if I should be doing something more – something that changes lives.  I found out yesterday that I had, but I just didn’t know it.My boss often likes to speak about the “pebble in the pond” when it comes to business.  That tiny little pebble creates ripples that become wider and greater the further they travel, and it’s our job as leaders to see those ripples.  We drop many pebbles in our everyday lives.  Two short, almost forgettable days in my life a long time ago changed Ann’s life in ways I never could have imagined.  And Ann saves lives every day as she fights for homebound seniors, disadvantaged youth and working parents.  I never knew how wide the ripples I unintentionally had made would become.

What you’re doing today may seem routine, part of your job or almost forgettable.  And you may be changing one life – or many – as you do it.  I’m going to remember that the next time I say hello to a new hire.  I hope you do too.


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Lessons from a Field of Dreams

Pondering the joy of baseball

Pondering the joy of baseball

I recently joined – I should say that Jake recently joined – a Little League team.  (Go MARLINS!)  Now, this is not the first kiddie sport that I’ve signed him up for.  Swimming was fun and frankly a little scary when he was 18 months old.  L.A. Sports Kids was adorable because the kids were so little, and everyone got a medal.  So Little League seemed like the next natural step.  I love baseball and adored the Reggie Bar, so this would be perfect.  Who doesn’t love cute little kids running around the bases and picking flowers when they should be watching for a pop fly?

Well, come to find out that Little League is a heck of a lot of work.  I did not know what I was getting myself in for.  When you’re the coach’s wife, AKA the equipment coach, snack center, pack mule and fundraising maniac, it gets to be a bit much.  No one tells you exactly how much time you have to invest during the week to watch your kids pick flowers… I mean, catch a pop fly – kind of.   No one tells you that it means the end of sleeping in on a Saturday morning or lazy Sundays spent in the back yard.  And no one tells you that it means hauling a cranky kid out of bed, getting him on the field and watching him have a meltdown in the middle of a game.  He wants to quit.  Sometimes you want to quit.  I hate to admit that in the first month of Little League, I found myself cranky: complaining about the time investment, the amount of equipment I had to cart around, the politics of the Little League staff and dealing with the parents that didn’t seem as committed as I was, or were perhaps not carrying as much of the weight as I felt I was with the team.

And then one day, something magic happens.  Your kid swings at the ball, connects, and it flies more than 10 feet from the tee.  And something inside both you clicks.  The sun shines bright, you hear the laughter in the air and 12 rookies start to become a team.  I cannot describe the feeling, but many of you know exactly what I feel.

Little League has taught me a few lessons these past 5 weeks, and I’m sure I will learn a few more.  Here’s what I’ve learned so far.

1.  Nobody starts at the top.  No matter how smart your child is or how good they were at soccer, baseball is a whole new ball game.  There are rules to be learned; etiquette to follow.  And no matter how well you plan your drills, no drill reaches everyone.  Each child learns in their own way.  What works for one child might not work for yours.  And each child has certain unique talents that you need to find to strengthen the team.  And so you run new drills.  Practice new skills.  You practice again, and you do your best.  You get back at it until you find what works.

2.  Getting better takes time.  Greatness doesn’t happen overnight.  Before Little League, my son connected every time he swung at the ball.  I was sure he would be a slugger.  Now, with a real bat, there is an awkwardness in his swing that I’m trying to understand.  He wants it to happen now.  Heck, I want it to happen now.  But we will only find the answer with time and a lot of hard work.  Both he and I have to have the patience to be in it for the long haul – keeping that long term goal in sight, and taking small steps each day to get there.

3.  Everyone on the team plays a part.  So, there is always a kid on any team that is a natural.  On the Marlins, that’s Brandon.  At five, that kid can clock the ball out of the park – as far as “out of the park” is for a 5 year old.  And that’s great.  But Brandon can’t win the game for us if our defense is weak, if the shortstop misses a grounder or the first baseman is too busy looking at dandelions to catch a ball.  The team has to work together towards a common goal.  Sure, someone will always pull a little more weight than the others.  That’s just the way life works.  But everyone needs to be performing at a solid level for the team to get a win.

4.  The folks on the sidelines matter – a lot.  As the Marlin parents, first we were grumpy.  Now, we live and breathe Little League.  And it’s not just the coaches.  It’s all of us.  We all got jerseys and caps.  We all scream our guts out for each and every kid – whether they are on our team or on the opposition.  (They are 5, after all.)  Kids gets discouraged when something is tough.  They want someone to swoop in and save them.  But they need to learn to do things on their own and be accountable.  And with us on the sidelines, they do it in a safe place where they have help to turn to when, or if, they need it.  They have people who will lift them up when they do miss the ball and need a little encouragement.

5.  Stick with it, and you will have a moment of sheer beauty.  Jake has been struggling, but he had a moment of brilliance last weekend.  After a rough run on first base, he moved to the pitching mound, and a big kid slammed a ball right at his head.  Jake glanced up just in time, caught it perfectly, turned and lobbed it straight into Brandon’s mitt on first base.  It was a thing of beauty.  It happened in a moment, and that moment was earth shattering.  I cried.  And then, he did it again.  One achievement led to another and another.  And suddenly, that batting got a little bit better.

Now this is a work and a marketing piece.  What does this all mean for you and your business when you are out in your offices, mentoring a new employee or lifting up a coworker who is having a rough time?  What does it mean for your team?  I’ll leave that up to you.  For the record, I am still cranky with losing all of my “private time,” and I can’t wait for another Saturday under the sun, sitting on the grass and watching my radiant child in the sunlight.